Almost six months ago, I came up with a new plan. College was well over a year behind me and I was about to turn 25. Up until that point, I had been shooting projects as they came to me. None of which were particularly memorable but each one was a learning experience. The next logical step was to jump into the deep end of the pool. I decided to make a feature length film.
By making this decision, I accepted two undeniable truths. The first was that I would make no money. In fact I would be losing quite a bit of money. None of which would have gone to good use anyway. Had I not put it towards my cinematic pursuits, they probably would have gone towards beer and video games. The second truth was that this wasn’t going to be an easy task. I would have to not only be the writer and director, I’d also have to be the producer.
This means I both love and hate myself. The artist in me wants to do anything possible for the film but the producer in me wants to make sure I don’t exceed what’s in my own means. So far this has been the hardest part of making the film. The writing was frustrating at times but definitely fun. Sometimes I delayed that just to keep having fun. Once all of that is done, the producer hat goes on and filmmaker suddenly becomes more work than fun. I understand that it is a necessary evil. Filmmaking is not something that is cheap. Even in today’s digital era, making a film can run the everyday man a small fortune (or what he believes is a small fortune).
I do understand that most of the costs are going towards investment equipment. Lighting, tripods, stock, slates, filters, and every other little thing on the “buy” list will only be on the “buy” list once… hopefully. Next year, the feature budget should be a lot cheaper since most of this equipment will already be in my possession. Not to mention the fact that next year’s film will most likely need a lot less in the way of special effects. Unfortunately the light at the end of the tunnel seems very far away. Part of this feeling has to do with how many hours I’ve been putting into the film at the moment. However, as we approach the first shooting day, I feel like a climber standing at the bottom of Mount Everest.
Luckily, I’m working with a competent and fun group of people. Many of who keep my nerves in check just by their willingness to be a part of the project. So far each one of them has taken a piece of the load willingly and happily. As we approach Memorial Day weekend, I’m sure my nerves will get worse and worse. However, once it is all over we will have something special in each of those small tapes. Until then, I’ll just continue to worry.
- Jen