Anthony J. Merced

The economy is down the drain, we’re all taking pay cuts, but video games prices have sky rocketed into orbit faster than Bono’s ego. This is why I’ve decided to forgo my love of HD graphics and fluid gameplay in exchange for 16 bit carnage. The easiest place to find it is on Sega Genesis. Remember that thing? It was that sexy black video game console that made your Nintendo look like an antique from mid 80’s… that’s because it was an antique from the mid 80’s. Anyway, nothing screamed: “I’m totally ready for violent video game nerdity” like a three button black controller with the words “Genesis” inscribed just to the right of an enormous D-pad. Genesis offered it all, bigger buttons, a D-pad that had 8 directions, and an intimidating size that screamed “Back up or I’ll whack you with this evil black brick!” If you were one of the souls that purchased the system before they invented Mario’s Olympic rival, Sonic, you were treated to one of the hardest, annoyingly difficult, yet violently fulfilling games of all time: Altered Beast!

This port of a port of a 1988 arcade game gives you everything you could ever desire: the living dead, gigantic ants walking on two spindly legs, a monster made up completely of eyes, a face throwing demon and the promise of completely random transformations in every level. In fact, that’s the most intriguing part of the game. At no point do the transformations seem to make any sort of sense. In the first level, which takes place in the graveyard where you were resurrected, you transform into a werewolf while in the second stage, taking place in a cave, you transform into a flying dragon that is seemingly restrained by the lack of airspace. The best comes in the third stage where you’re transformed into a somersaulting bear. Each transformation makes you more powerful but neglects to give you any extra mobility variations. in the case of the bear, you’re either throwing what appear to be rocks or somersaulting at opponents. Either way, one strike should end almost any foe.

Unlike other side scrolling games that allow you to move about freely with only a time limit to keep you moving forward, Altered Beast is a nagging child that wants you to go where it wants you to go when it wants you to go. The stage constantly moves forward whether you want it to or not. You’ll find it wiser if you stand in the middle of the screen, however this impedes you from telegraphing enemies as they approach. The only other alternative is to be slowly pushed off the screen… and there’s nothing more annoying than being pushed into a bottomless pit. The other amazing thing about Altered Beast is that you have 3 lives and I’m not sure if there’s a way to get any more than that. This means that the margin for error is rather slim. Unlike games like Metal Gear Solid or Mortal Kombat it’s really not that much fun watching yourself die.

You may think that I dislike this game greatly. The truth is I don’t. It’s one of the first awesome ports of an arcade game. Not to mention you get to kill zombies and weird slug creatures. There also aren’t long cinematic breaks that keep you from playing the game for 3 and a half hours. Aside from a few laughs and the initial dialogue of “Rise from your grave” there is no voice acting to worry about at all. If you’re looking for a sense of ancient supernatural accomplishment, pick up Altered Beast and pound your way into 16 bit history.